Where's The Pride?

From art-house classics to documentary films, from innovative and experimental visions to next-level Bollywood : 3rd i Films is committed to promoting diverse images of South Asians through independent film. 3rd i’s programs reflect the lives and experiences of the many ethnic, religious and national identities that comprise the South Asian identity, and promotes interaction and dialogue both within the South Asian community and with other local and global communities.

It was in one of these programs, where I was introduced to the story of Naveen Bhat, “Escaping Agra”, directed by Pallavi Somushetty. The documentary closely follows the young transgender male, Bhatt and their journey of how they broke away from a tyrannical family where they were judged and kept hostage in Agra.

"Escaping Agra", by Pallavi Somushetty

Now why was Bhat kept hostage, by their own mother? The reason wasn't shocking for me, a traditional brown woman, yet it was evident from the gasps within the cinema hall about how San Francisco felt as Bhat’s response. For Naveen Bhat, an art student from UC Davis, identifying as non-binary transgender male to their family has been a battle in itself.

“In India, you have rights that protect the third gender, or transgenders, but the L’s, the G’s and the B’s still have to hide”, recalls a teary-eyed Pallavi Somushetty. In the documentary, Naveen talks about them being shunned by their parents, and eventually being taken to India in attempt to be “cured”. Here is where I stopped to question myself. I agreed whole-heartedly with Naveen when they said that “Our bodies are never wrong and our gender is not what we feel”, but I couldn't help feel a but of remorse for the family that disowned Naveen.

Monologue by Naveen Bhatt

Growing up in South Asia, one is fed with a conservative lifestyle. It’s just how it is; we’re bred with rules and the need for personal discipline and decorum is a habit that comes from the roots of one’s heritage. Traditional Asian parents, today, are individuals who have been bred with the same rules and to them, being gender queer creates high levels of discomfort and confusion. To them, it's not normal and instills fear. Personally, when I put myself in their shoes, I understand that without prior education about the LGBTQIA community, one can find it difficult to be accepting of it. I know my tradition; I understand.

Still, it's upsetting how India, a country that is built on pride and social respect, refrains from moving forward from its secular and stubborn mind-set. Radha (name changed to protect privacy) who is a lesbian, mentions that she still lives inside the closet. She's afraid of what her family might say and even prefers to live in silence forever. “To my family, my girlfriend is my best friend - and it will be like that to my future husband as well”, Radha says.

It's the lack of confrontation as well as the lack of education. Being gay is being influenced by western culture; it's a natural aspect of the human body. It's psychological.

Pro-gay protests in Mumbai, India

My mother, on the other hand, wasn't too fond of the topic, as well. As her daughter, we’ve discussed about my friends and acquaintances who are part of the LGBTQIA community, but when I ask what her reaction would be if I came out as gay, my mother smiled and said, “I have a dream of how your wedding should be, don't ruin it for me”. Although, she knew I wasn't serious, her downcast eyes sent a clear message of disapproval.

I haven't been able to tackle this, but I hope to in the future. It's not about building a community that is accepting towards the gay community; it's about educating people that it isn't a sickness.