Exposed

My mother didn’t know I was here. She didn’t know I was waiting nearly an hour to see him. The possibility of her even finding out scared me out of my wits. I was just hoping she’d have been fast asleep. Minutes past and I could see shadows of people treading past the front gate.

Soon, a white car whizzed past and parked itself a couple of yards away from the gate. I peeped outside to get a look at the driver. The flashlights flickered confirming that Naren wasn’t just my imagination. There was a small water-pump at the corner of the garage connecting the compound wall and the gate. I carefully climbed on the top of the pump and jumped over the wall. I had to avoid opening the gate. I was afraid the creak of the metal would be the cause of my untimely demise.

I quickly jogged to the car and jumped in it. “Drive”, I said.

“Hey Sexy.. What’s up?”

I let my heart return a normal pace before I could speak. “I’m fine. Just keep driving. Please”. Parked cars always aroused suspicion, especially if it was at 1 am in the morning. Naren whisked his hand around my neck and kissed me gently. His warmth was weakening.

“My parents are out of town”, Naren whispered.

As much as tempting as that sounded, I wasn’t going to add fuel to the fire. “No, I have to get back home soon. I can’t. I’m sorry”. Naren scoffed and pulled away positioning both his hands on the wheel. “Why’d you call me then? You know, I have a life as well, right?”

Words came out like knives, slashing every artery. “Please, Naren..I called you here for a reason.” I tried to hide my shattered soul with anger. I was always objectified with him and for some reason I held it in for the sorry excuse of being irresistible to him, sexually. Naren glanced back at me, worried. “I want to tell my parents about you. It’s been six months and I just feel that it’s time to put things in perspective given the stuff we’ve done, you know..”, I stalled hopelessly.

“Well, it’s not like I slept with you or anything. I think we can wait a little more to come clean”, he replied. I stared blankly out the window, feeling starved. I was tired of being promiscuous and I believed and hoped every time, that the next guy would be different. He’d see me for who I was. I felt ashamed to let my worth go. I was practically naked with my emotions hung loosely on my bare skin. They hung for him.

“Naren..drive home”

As soon as he reached my apartment, I turned my body to face him. Just as he moved forward for a kiss, I placed my hand on his chest stopping him. His heart beat slowly. I wasn’t his anymore. “We should stop seeing each other. You deserve someone who’s more involved, Naren. I’m not cut out for this”, I stated.

“What? Come on, now…just because I said we have to wait to pry things open with the old people?!”, Naren exclaimed, grabbing my hand. “We had our run and you had fun, didn’t you? Now, move on. I’m not gonna hold you back”

There was a light in his face, the kind I was afraid I’d see again.

“Fine”, he said calmly as he unlocked the doors. I smiled one last time at him and slid out of the car. I waited till he drove away, so I could climb back inside in all my embarrassment. I felt oddly emancipated and numb. I needed to sleep it off.

I woke up to my mother shaking me vigorously. “Nazma, wake up! The boy’s family will be here in another hour. Get ready!”